


blithe

by coffeeless



Series: fears that smother you like smoke [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oblivious Iwaizumi and an innocent Oikawa for you, Rated T because of Iwaizumi's mouth and the previous tag DON'T WORRY, Talking About The Future, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, neck biting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 17:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7181426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeless/pseuds/coffeeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I have a problem with being happy.” Oikawa declares one day on top of Hajime’s bed.</p><p>“What?” Iwaizumi asks in a vacant tone, continuing doing homework on the floor as if Oikawa hadn’t just said something completely weird. </p><p>“I have a problem with being happy.” Tooru says again, somewhat more insistent.</p><p>Iwaizumi sighs. He shouldn’t have to deal with this right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	blithe

**Author's Note:**

> here's this  
> I made this within like an hour and idk if I should be proud of that
> 
> [[Edit 10/5/2016: OH GOD hello i fixed some awkward sentences and switched some words for others. I'm so sorry for anyone reading before the edit, this was a mess lmao]]

“I have a problem with being happy.” Oikawa declares one day on top of Hajime’s bed.

“What?” Iwaizumi asks in a vacant tone, continuing homework on the floor as if Oikawa hadn’t just said something completely weird.

“I have a problem with being happy.” Tooru says again, somewhat more insistent.

Iwaizumi sighs. He shouldn’t have to deal with this right now, he had English homework to be working on. _What do you mean 'have' and 'has' are the same tense? Shouldn’t they be the same word then?_

It was currently mid-July, the heat bearing down on Miyagi as if it didn’t have the rest of the summer to melt the people who lived there. Because of this, Tooru and Hajime decided to rush inside, skipping out playing volleyball for once in favor of a nice, cool bedroom.

Being in said bedroom brought along the idea of doing the homework due by the end of summer to pass the time. Apparently, Oikawa wasn't having it.

“I get that,” Iwaizumi says, still not looking at his best friend. “But why?” He sets his blue, mechanical pencil down and runs a hand through his hair. Even in the air-conditioned house, his hair still collected unwanted sweat.

“I have a problem with being happy.” Tooru says once more, quieter this time. Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow and finally looks up at him.

Oikawa’s casualness in the choice of topic is unnerving. Repeating the same thing is just annoying.

“Yes, I know. But why?” Iwaizumi’s eyebrow starts to twitch. Oikawa was still looking down at his pencil.

After a moment, Tooru blinks and looks up at Iwaizumi, a distant look in his eyes. He tilts his head and gives Hajime a fond smile. Hajime is confused further. 

“I like the idea of being happy.” Oikawa heaves a sigh and drops his pencil on his essay paper. Iwaizumi is now completely lost, blinking at Tooru.

“Oikawa, what the hell are you getting at?” Iwaizumi says.

But Tooru just slides down from the bed and sits next to Hajime, keeping eye contact with him the whole time. He then doesn’t speak, only stares. Iwaizumi is starting to think that Oikawa is trying to make a shitty joke.

“Oikawa, if you're just-” Iwaizumi starts to say, eyebrows furrowing.

“Iwa-chan.” Tooru says suddenly, eyes staring at him curiously. “I just realized a sudden development.”

Iwaizumi recognizes the seriousness in his tone, so he rolls his eyes and puts aside his English homework, deciding to do it another time. “Yes? It’s important for you to share with me, how?”

Oikawa ignores his unhappy tone in favor of holding Hajime’s face, thumbs pressing down under his eyes. It hurts slightly so he winces and glares at Oikawa.

“What are you doing?” Hajime asks with a sigh. This behavior wasn’t something Oikawa does normally, but it wasn’t unheard of either. But it was a little weird for this kind of mood to happen in the _middle_ of the day and not three in the morning.

Tooru doesn’t say anything for another moment, moving Iwaizumi’s head side to side to examine it. Hajime crinkles his nose, making Oikawa crack a small smile.

“I have a problem. With you.” He pauses. “Because I like the idea of being happy. With you. In particular.” Iwaizumi is feeling his annoyance grow. _Why was Oikawa talking in short sentences? Why is he being so cryptic? Why can't I spell 'have' and 'has' in the right tenses?_

“Okay? I would hope that you like being happy around me. Why is this such a huge thing?” Iwaizumi scowls at Oikawa. He turns his head to get out of Oikawa’s hands, but his grip is steel.

Tooru shakes his head. “No. You don’t get it. I like being happy around you. A lot.” He looks hopeful and confused at the same time.

Iwaizumi has to fight down the urge to smack Oikawa upside the head. Years of being with Tooru has increased his patience ten fold of what it used to be, but it’s already starting to thin.

He closes his eyes and opens them a moment later. “If you're being insecure and wondering if I still want to be best friends with you-” He starts out awkwardly, but Oikawa shakes his head once more.

“No! No, I’m not. I know that you like to be around me too, or else why would you hang out with me all of our lives?” He laughs, but it sounds somewhat hollow.

Iwaizumi’s eyebrow begins to twitch again. “Okay, so what the hell are you getting at, Oikawa? I have English homework to do.”

Oikawa softens his hold on Hajime’s face and softly caresses Hajime’s cheeks instead.

Iwaizumi likes to think that he has the patience of a saint.

“I want to tell you...something.” Tooru says, his face looking lost.

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and says,” You're acting like you want to tell me something life changing. Are you trying to tell me that you have cancer or something?” Oikawa doesn’t respond, his eyes still studying Iwaizumi’s face. It feels like a few minutes pass before Hajime's heart drops. 

_He can’t be serious- is this why he was being so cryptic? Telling me that he’s happy being with me as some sort of bittersweet goodbye?_

_I can barely think about university, but university without Tooru? The rest of my life without Tooru? Is Tooru fucking with me or does he really-_

He reaches forward and holds Oikawa’s face in his hands, panic rising in his chest. “Tooru-” He whispers, eyes wide, but Oikawa shakes his head.

“No, no! I don’t! Nothing bad is happening, sorry. I’m lost in thought. I promise, nothing bad. Sorry Iwa-chan.” Tooru says, snapping out of his thoughts when Hajime uses his first name. He smiles genuinely at Hajime and Hajime heaves a sigh of relief.

He leans forward and wraps his arms around Oikawa's body, pulling him into his lap so Oikawa was straddling him. He rests his forehead against Tooru’s collarbone and hugs his slim frame tightly. “Jesus Christ, Tooru, I was about to have a heart attack.” He says in a drawn out, shaky breath.

Oikawa doesn’t move during the whole process, staying unusually rigid. But once Iwaizumi speaks, he hugs him back and lets out a breathy laugh. “Sorry, I’m just trying to gather my thoughts right now.”

Tooru rests his chin on Hajime’s head, and a comfortable silence engulfs them. Hajime is still a little shaken, so he stays still and drinks in Oikawa's vanilla scent. He still doesn’t know how Oikawa smells like vanilla without fail everyday, even after more than ten years of friendship.

Another moment of silence, after Hajime’s breathing becomes mildly less shaky, Oikawa leans back a little to look him in the eye. Iwaizumi leaves his arms around Oikawa’s abdomen, locking his fingers together to ensure this because he still wants to feel him physically. Maybe to make sure he wasn’t leaving anytime soon, but Tooru doesn’t seem to mind.

Running his fingers through Hajime’s hair, Tooru gives him another fond smile. “I like the idea of being happy with you.” He says once more, smile never leaving. Hajime just closes his eyes, leaning into his touch.

He feels emotionally drained from trying to get Oikawa to get to the point and almost having a heart attack, so he let’s Tooru do what he needs to do while he tries to recover.

“When I think of the future, you're always there. You’re everywhere in my head lately, actually.” He admits with a small laugh. “When I look back on a memory with you, I’m always happy. Even when you're being mean.” Hajime gives him a crooked smile but doesn’t open his eyes, waiting for Tooru to continue.

“But when I look at a memory without you, even when I’m happy, it seems like something's missing. Like somethings lost.” Tooru stops running his hands through his hair and starts to rub his thumbs on Hajime’s temples softly. Hajime hums at the touch.

Distantly, Iwaizumi realizes that this position they're in is extremely intimate. If his mother decided to burst in, she would probably have a heart attack in shock. He decides that he doesn’t care either way, enjoying the moment while it lasts.

“So when I compare this, I obviously want to feel complete rather than not, right?” Another hum from Hajime. “That’s why I have a problem with being happy. Because without you, it doesn’t feel like actual happiness.”

Iwaizumi opens his eyes. “Like, artificial?” He supplies, tightening his grip on Oikawa and pulls him closer. He wonders if Oikawa would mind, but he shows no signs of discomfort.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Oikawa hums thoughtfully, continuing running his hands through Hajime’s hair. “I want to feel actual happiness. I want to be around you for as long as I can. But I’m scared that you’ll eventually leave.” He keeps his voice light despite the choice of topic.

Iwaizumi scowls at him and leans into his touch some more, maybe to show a point, maybe because he really likes the way his hands feel in his hair. “I’m not leaving anytime soon, despite universities coming.” He mumbles, closing his eyes again.

He starts to rub his thumbs on Oikawa’s back to try to be comforting, but Tooru just shivers at the act. “No, it’s not that.” A pause. “Maybe some of that.”

“Uh-huh.” Iwaizumi says.

“But no, that’s not really why.” Oikawa doesn’t continue after that.

Iwaizumi cracks an eye open to see Oikawa looking hesitant, biting his lower lip. Hajime gives him a reassuring smile. “You can tell me, Oikawa. Literally anything. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what shitty sentence comes out of your mouth.”

Oikawa pouts, but doesn’t retort, and Hajime drops the humor for a more serious tone. “I’m completely serious, Tooru. You really can tell me anything.” Oikawa then smiles, but still looks hesitant, still as if what he would say would be something big.

That thought makes Hajime almost hopeful. Hopeful that maybe his feelings may not be unrequited after all, but he stops that train of thought, not wanting for his hopes to get squashed when Oikawa probably says something completely different.

Oikawa stops ruffling his hair and cups Hajime’s face again. Hajime wonders why he’s being extra touchy than normal. The previous though flutters back into his head.

“I...don’t like the idea of you going away someday.” Hajime opens his mouth to argue, but Tooru cuts him off. “I don’t like the idea of someone taking you away and being happy with you. Like they also feel the same way I do: being happy with you feels so much better than without.”

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes, hope flaring in his chest against his will.

“So I- I...God, I don’t know.” Oikawa looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes, letting a sad smile rest on his lips. He lets his hands rest on Iwaizumi's shoulders.

Hajime suddenly feels confident in Oikawa's nervous hesitancy, pulling him forward and resting his mouth just above Oikawa’s collarbones, tilting his head to make it more comfortable. He closes his eyes. “You don’t have to be nervous around me, you know.” He mumbles against Tooru’s neck, Oikawa's breath hitching in his throat. That somewhat confirms Hajime’s hopeful suspicions.

“I-I’m not nervous…” Oikawa mutters shyly, trying to get away from Hajime’s touch as if it burns him, but Iwaizumi doesn't let him. He smiles at that, and when Oikawa shivers, he know he can feel his smile against his skin.

“I’m just trying to say that- that I don’t want to lose you… to someone else.” Oikawa continues, clearing his throat and lowering his head from looking at the ceiling to looking forward, over Iwaizumi’s head. His chin tickles Iwaizumi’s head as he talks.

Hajime feels a surge of happiness in his heart. Maybe...maybe it’s definitely not unrequited. With that in mind, Hajime then opens his mouth against Oikawa's throat and gently, ever so gently, bites him.

Tooru’s breathing hitches louder this time, his hands on Iwaizumi’s shoulders tensing. Tooru’s legs on either side of Hajime tense too, squeezing him slightly.

After a moment, with Tooru not pulling away from Iwaizumi’s advances, Iwaizumi moves his mouth a little to the right and bites harder this time.

“W-what are you doing?” Oikawa whispers softly, his voice sounding mildly surprised but mostly nervous.

Iwaizumi smiles smugly against his neck. “Biting your throat.” He says plainly, doing so again in a slightly different spot. Tooru starts to squirm in his hold, trying to crane his neck away, but Hajime doesn’t let him.

“What, you don’t want me to?” Iwaizumi asks. He was pretty sure that Oikawa was trying to confess to him...but what if he wasn’t? He tries not to think about it until it either comes out of Oikawa’s mouth, or not think about it at all.

“N-no…I want you to...” Tooru confesses, moving in his lap some more but not trying to get out of it this time.

Hajime smiles and continues to bite softly all over the lower part of Oikawa’s throat, every time slowly biting harder and harder, though not hard enough to leave a mark, until Oikawa’s breath starts to get ragged.

“I-Iwa-chan… what are you doing?” Oikawa asks after a moment, squirming in his lap again. Iwaizumi stops nibbling on the side of his neck and moves his head away to look Tooru in the eyes.

Oikawa’s face is beat red when Iwaizumi asks,” Were you trying to confess to me earlier?” Oikawa’s face only because even redder, if possible, and he nods silently after a moment of hesitation.

Iwaizumi smirks at him. “Is that why you were trying to do that ‘I want to stay with you forever’ speech?” Another nod, and Iwaizumi’s smirk turns into a fond smile. “I told you that you could have told me anything.”

He leans forward and nips Tooru’s jaw, earning a full body shudder from him. He continues this, pulling him closer. Tooru sighs contently.

“When did you know?” Tooru asks after a while, his bottom lip bitten raw.

Hajime stops nipping his jaw for a moment to hum against it.

“When did you figure out that you wanted to be happy with me, too?” Tooru mumbles, words slurring with bliss.

Iwaizumi smiles against his jaw. “Well, I looked at you one morning after a sleepover at my house a couple years back. Saw the sunrise from the window hit your sleeping face just right and I thought _oh_ , I’m in love with this dumbass. And right then and there, I wanted to see your dumb face every single morning for the rest of my life.”

Oikawa smacks his arm. “I’ll have you know that my face is not dumb, Iwa-chan!” He huffs with fake offense. Hajime nips his jaw in retaliation, earning a gasp in return. He breathes in deeply with a wide grin, and a thought appears.

“How do you smell like vanilla, without fail, every single day?” He breaks away from Tooru’s lovely neck to see the shy smile on his face instead.

“I- I rub some vanilla behind my ears every day. At first it was my mom who did it because she really liked the smell, so then I just went with it.” He admits, looking pointedly away. Hajime’s smile widens even more.

Iwaizumi pushes Oikawa out of his lap, pushing him down to the floor and climbs on top of him, resting elbows on either side of his face. Oikawa’s face is flushed red when Hajime mumbles,” You still have a problem with being happy?”

Tooru smiles along with him, although somewhat coyly. “No. For as long as you’ll let me be with you, I won't.”

Hajime leans closer to his face, whispers softly, “Forever then.” And kisses him deeply. _No artificial happiness to cover up unhappy thoughts, huh?_

**Author's Note:**

> now go see a dentist gdi
> 
> Tell me if there are any mistakes of any kind because it's only me editing these !!
> 
> visit me on my tumblr maybe! iwaizumixhajime.tumblr.com (copy and paste!!)


End file.
